11 weeks and whoa!

On Thursday we entered week 11 of the pregnancy. It's hard to believe in just 2 weeks we'll be out of the first trimester! This week the baby is the size of a lime. The head is starting to tilt back and the finger nails are growing.

On Thursday I also received a call I never thought I would receive. To fully explain we need to back up a little. Earlier in the week I was told that I was considered a "high risk" pregnancy. This label didn't overly concern me. I was diagnosed as insulin resistant last year so I knew that I may get labeled high risk. I've been fighting off diabetes for probably the last 4 years. Up to this point I've been doing pretty darn good. Even though I've struggled here and there I've kept my sugar under control with diet and exercise. I knew that getting pregnant would pose some challenges for me but it was nothing that I didn't think I couldn't handle.

I was referred by my doctor to a high risk doctor. They called, asked me some questions and upped my glucose testing from a few times a day to 7 to 8. I started to feel like a pin cushion! On Thursday the high risk office gave me a call back with more information. They fully expect me to end up on insulin at some point during this pregnancy. As a person who has been working so hard to stay off of pills, insulin is a possibility that never entered my mind. I immediately felt like the biggest failure as not only a person trying to stay healthy but also as a mom. It's a feeling I've been struggling with ever since.

I know I'm not a failure but I feel like all of the work I've done is for nothing. Thank goodness I have the most amazing support system of family and friends. My personal trainer Erin has vowed to help keep me in shape. She also was a great voice of reason to talk to the day I received the news. Just an ear to listen and a great workout can do the mind more good then you can ever imagine. My mom and Ben (yeah, that's DTB's name) have been beyond great. They've allowed me to be the overly emotional pregnant woman that I am. I've cried probably more times then what is really necessary but never once did they tell me my feelings weren't rational. They've been understanding and there. My two best friends who have themselves have been getting healthy were quick to offer me reassurance and to be there for me no matter what. Even an acquaintance offered words of encouragement that touched me very much. So as I start this new challenge, I thank everyone who has been so great. I probably don't tell them enough but I love them all more then they know and I never for a moment take them for granted.

The good news is that I don't have to start insulin right away. For now I'm going to diabetes education classes and keeping in very close touch with my high risk doctor's office. We'll know more information as time goes on. I honestly don't know if I'll end up on some kind of medication or insulin for life. It is a possibility but if I keep healthy it may just be for the pregnancy. At this point we don't even know at what point I'll need to start taking the insulin.

So I'm going to keep working hard. I still see Erin once a week. I'm also joining a couple of exercise classes. Thank goodness I'm starting to get some energy back! I'm going to need it!