For those who may not want to know about my internal struggles with a sort of personal issue (read: guys that don't want to hear about breastfeeding whoas), you may want to stop reading here. If you think you may have some advice for me (guys included) then read on.
Before I ever got pregnant Ben and I decided that we would formula feed our children. This was perfectly fine in our minds since we know plenty of children that were bottle fed and have no issues once so ever. I never had the want to breastfeed. I still don't.
So now here I am trying to decide what to do. I have no urge or want to breastfeed my child. BUT I have read all of the benefits that breastfeeding can have not only for the child but also for me (especially with gestational diabetes).
Now I'm torn. I still really don't want to breastfeed or pump but I want to to what's best for me and my baby. It seems like every article I read or every person I talk to (I have not talked to my doctor or our pediatrician about this yet) about this makes me feel horrible for even considering not breast feeding for at least a couple of weeks. I feel even more selfish then I originally did.
It's been weighing heavy on my mind lately. I was just about in tears over it the other day. I feel very helpless with this decision. If I breastfeed, I'm doing something I really don't want to do. If I don't then I'm labeled a bad mom and not looking out for my own health. I really don't care what other people think. These are the struggles going on in my own head.
This is the one area Ben isn't being very helpful. Who can blame him though! He wants to do so much with the baby. He admitted he would like to spend a little more time then I do with the baby each day for a while so he can get that great bond that I'll already have. He will love me no matter what my decision is and he's told me it's completely up to me. Any how there's no real point to this post other then for me to get this off my chest. Feel free to offer me any advice you may have. Maybe it will help guide me.
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12 comments:
Well, since I'm not a mom myself, my advice might not be that great. If you are not interested in BF'ing, don't do it. It's your personal choice, you shouldn't have to justify it to anyone else.
I think when the time comes for me, I'll BF while on maternity leave, and then bottle feed after that (maybe that's an option for you). I'm not at all interested in hauling a pump around with me everywhere I go for the next year. No thanks. For those that want to, great. It's not for me.
I'd take that approach. You have to do what works for you. You're going to find that out a lot with children, I think. What other parents do is not the be all, end all way to do something. Do what works for you and your baby.
Good luck!
Like Kerri, I'm not a mom so I'm not the best on giving advice on this subject. However, if you are super torn on the issue and recognize that it's really good for Baby, could you try it and see if you like it? You might end up loving the special time you have with Baby.
Or, you might end up loathing feeding time. If that's the case, then it's better for Baby to have a happy mommy than be breastfed. You won't enjoy your child if you're upset and angry over breastfeeding.
I agree with Kerri: do what works best for you and your baby.
LVila
Ah! You girls are much wiser then you give yourselves credit for. ;o)
Shana,
As you know I am not a Mom either but I would say give it a try and if you really don't like it, then stop. Then at least you can say you did try. You will also have that special bond with the baby and you can pump so Ben can have his special time also.
Although, whatever you decide is your personal choice and you won't be labeled a bad Mom (by your true friends) if you don't.
Jenn
Oops...I didn't change the name part on my previous post (Integrated). Well at least I put my name at the end so you knew the post was from me.
Shana,
As your Mom I agree with the girls, do what you feel comfortable doing. I breast fed your oldest brother but I did not have enough milk and because of that he sucked so hard I was in pain. I chose not to BF your second brother and you and you both turned out wonderful also.
Don't do it if you do't want to. Some of those nights can be pretty long and you can get pretty ornery (?). go with your heart, the baby will be fine either way.
I think that if you are not comfortable with it, it could affect your little girl so do what you are comfortable with. 10 years from now, they are going to say that formula is better than bfing. It is just a crazy cycle. Do what is best for you. I will say that I have a friend that felt the same way about bfing that you do and after trying it, she is totally into it and loves doing it. So, maybe just give it a try. It is an amazing bonding experience.. If you don't find that it is amazing, then you are perfectly fine with formula.
LOL! Don't you love how my mom encourages me not to breastfeed because I get ornery! LOL! Too funny mom!
It's totally your call. :) My sister tried it but Elle couldn't even do it because of her throat problems... so she had to be bottle fed. Sara did pump for 3 months until the hassle of it drove her nuts and then she just started Elle on formula. So, if you want... you could breastfeed for a couple of weeks and then wean her off on to formula... or just a bottle with breast milk that you pump for a while. I think it might be a good idea, if even for a short time, for the bonding and for your own health... and then you can make the call as to when to stop. That seems kind of like a nice "in between" plan.
Never forget, it is YOUR decision. Don't do because of what anyone says to you about it. On that note, I agree w/ Christina, if your not into it it won't be as big benefit for your little one. But you can try and then stop if its not for you. (I love how I contradicted myself in this comment!)
It's been a long time since I had to decide if I wanted to breastfeed. I didn't then and I wouldn't now. I was never comfortable with the idea of me BF. I have no issues with mothers that decide to BF, it's just not for me. I don't recall anyone ever giving me grief about it, and honestly if someone is rude enough to say you are a "bad mom" for not BF, then they shouldn't have the pleasure of knowing you or your baby. Also formula is so much better nowadays, and you can still bond while bottle feeding. You do what;s right for you and you can't go wrong. Hope I helped a little.
Thanks for being so honest. I plan on not breast feeding either. I was a formula baby and I turned out terrific. Do what you feel is more comfortable!
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